BEEEEP! BEEEEEP!
This is not a test. I repeat this is not a test.
The Emergency Battle of the Soxes System has issued the following alert:
Tonight, shortly before 6pm, a vicious killer struck at the home of Bridget. With a pair of socks and a haiku, Sandy eliminated Bridget from the game. But, the knitting public beware! Bridget had already finished her Killer Zap! socks and was forced to immediately had them over to Sandy. Sandy is considered armed and dangerous. I repeat, she is armed with a pair of fully knit socks. If you see her, well, our condolences.
Bridget's tombstone reads:
"Bridget Gordan’s body lies a-mouldering in the grave,
A-mouldering in the grave,
Bridget Gordan’s body lies a-mouldering in the grave,
But her socks go marching on!"
Last evening, another Mainer fell. We received this report:
"To Whom it May Concern,
As coroner, I must aver, I thoroughly examined her and
she's not only MERELY dead, she's really most SINCERELY
dead!
Dr. Elizabeth "Lizzie" Linnell died this evening, 2/5/08
at 7:45 pm. Cause of death: a beautifully em-BELL-ished
and oh so comfortable pair of hand knit socks. As she
drifted away into that peaceful slumber of death she was
heard to nominate her assasin, Esta Campbell of
Massachussetts, for most creative em-BELL-ishment of the
socks. Her last words were "I wouldn't dream of getting
rid of the bells - they are my FAVORITE part!".
I have enclosed photographic evidence from the crime
scene, including a close-up of the aforementioned bells.
Sincerely,
Soc K. Less,
Coroner of Maine"
Esta sent along a picture of the socks pre-kill. Notice the take-out container since she was about to "take out" Liz.
Susan also met her fate at the hands of Mara. A beautiful, yet deadly pair of socks awaited her at home.
The newswires brought the following sad news today:
"At 11:43am on February 6, 2008, Lesley L. of Maine succumbed to the effects of the rabid knitting that has already taken out several of her fellow knitter friends. She was grateful to have lasted as long as she did, and does feel a sense of relief after expecting this for several days.
She was not prepared, however, for the ‘face of death’ visual that accompanied her socks. The socks were pretty. Death? Not so much."
The socks could be seen on the victim when police arrived, as the face of death watched over the scene. Gretchen from Missouri is being sought by authorities for questioning.
Diana fell next. Her killer tried to hide behind a carefully crafted note, but the very fact that the words were comprised entirely from letters taken off yarn labels meant it could only be one knitter.
"Knowing that my PO Box Fee was late and being the honest person I am (k, you can get up off the floor from laughing) I trekked my way to the Post Office. I opened the Box and, low and behold, what did I find but a PAST DUE notice for my Box. I rang the bell to alert them I was there to pay my Fee and collect my mail.
The Postmaster set my mail on the counter and what do I see, not 1 but 2 packages both addressed to me. The 1st one was from my “lovely KILLER” Ms. Patti Waters(no wonder she was asking if I would be at KAN on Thursday as we were leaving El Camino on Saturday). Sneaky, very sneaky and yes I did start to wonder!!! The second package was from my “victim” Teresa Lessard and we all know what is in that package but since I “Met My Maker” the task of finishing her “victims” socks is no longer mine, I am sorry to say.
My consolation in this whole thing is threefold: My “victim” is dead, my “assasin” is dead(who just happens to be among the “elite” when it comes to sock knitting speed and talent) and I have warm feet.
I can now join my fellow “dead” in sock heaven, but will not be partaking of Margaritas but will definately be enjoying plenty of Mojitos.
Please let Patti know my feet Thank Her! My advice to those of you still alive and knitting: WATCH YOUR BACKS!!!"
13 are dead. 33 remain. Who will be next?
With the battle going on, it is hard to remember that knitting continues on the homefront.
Rachael finished the most beautiful bag out of Soft Linen.
Mary completed a gorgeous entrelac felted bag. The pattern is from Bags: A Knitters Dozen and the yarn is Cascade 220.
Amy delivered the Spunky Color of the Month in Super Nova. Meet Walking on the Sun.
These skeins (15% OFF for the month of February) never last long.
UPS brought a very special treat from Blue Sky Alpacas. Ever want to see what heaven feels like? Just touch the Royal Alpaca. 288yds of pure heaven.
I showed it to Becka this afternoon and she went home with a skein. I don't think she knows what she is going to do with it yet, but she just had to have it.
New tote bags for all your knitting stuff - and so you can look oh-so-cool around town:
New books, including the Field Guide to Knitting, the coolest pocket reference to cable, lace, knit, and purl patterns. To make it even better, Sara knit a swatch for the book! Yay Sara!
I restocked books that just keep flying off the shelf:
I didn't get a chance to take pictures of our newest sock yarn: Shine from Spunky Eclectic. It is a merino/tencel blend and is simply lovely. I'm using a skein to make the winner's socks.
Rest in peace all who passed today. Sleep well, everyone else, for who knows what tomorrow will bring. (Hopefully not Sandy, or you are in big trouble.)